Unitarian Universalist Small Group Ministry - Birthing New Groups via Cell Division

UU Resistance
The number one problem our UU small ministry groups appear to have is that they seem "resistant" to division. The widely accepted small group model is that the cells grow and split, grow and slips -- just like real living cells.

But ours DO NOT. Why?

My interest in congregations as living systems and this CELL DIVISION problem brought me back to the ultimate "how to book" on cell division - my old college biology text books. Remember, cell groups are based on the model of living cells. I think we have been basing our UU groups on Christian Cell Groups and in the translation process tossed some key elements. After sitting down with biology text books, Bob Hill's book, Calvin Dame's resources, and the Willow Creek guide to Leading Life Changing Small Groups, a number of reasons for our "resistance" jumped out at me. To put it simply, our UU small groups are not following the process real cells use. We have big fat groups and try and chop'em in two. That's not natures way. In nature, the cells replicates its genetic material and then follows a process to form two new nuclear groups. THEN and only then does the cell split. When a cell splits physically (cytokinesis) the wall doesn't go anywhere NEAR a nucleus.

Reality Check: Our UU cells are not so much resisting cellular division as they are preserving the natural order and integrity of the cell. Thank them...

Mother Natures Way
In living cells the nucleus of the cell (containing the DNA) breaks apart and clear chromosomes form (coiled DNA) and are replicated/copied. A structure called a Centriole is also replicated. Each of the Centrioles migrate to the ends of the cell. With the core nucleus broken down, double the DNA and one Centriole at each end of the cell, the Centriole form and guide strands (spindle fibers) that reach to half of the chromosomes. The fibers pull their half of the chromosomes/DNA to their end of the cell. With a full compliment/number of Chromosomes, a nucleus (containing the DNA) forms at each end of the cell. ONCE the cell has successfully doubled its nucleus/core, the cell wall is then pinched and eventually splits the cell in half. If you look

If we look at the common UU method of trying to simply split a cell when the group gets large enough, it is not that surprising we get resistance. The group should resist what I will call the "UU CHOP!" for this would harm the cell. You can not cut a cell in half, right through all the important parts in the center. You need to have it grow, form two nuclear groups and THEN that will drive the physical split. And the split will happen in between the two sets of goodies!

Taking the above description of cellular mitosis and translating it (in my own pseudo-science-hack-way) into small group ministry terms, we end up with the following small group lessons. Now, these are based on my reading. I have yet to find a suitable lab for my personal small group biology experiments. I invite you to experiment and to share your results with me.

Baseline: If your program is like many, you have a number of groups of 8-10 people, each with a facilitator, meeting about twice per month for two hours, with the facilitator meeting with other facilitators and a coach monthly. This seems like a fairly typical small group ministry. There are many variations of this...

Lesson 1 - Leaders
What we UU's call facilitators need to become MORE than just discussion group facilitators. They need to be trained, supported and upheld as the leaders of a faith based ministry groups. They need to be responsible for more than just the group time. They need to care for the group both in and out of the nuclear meeting/session time. Yes, this is a much bigger deal. I know. And more time. More love. And a lot more planning and communication. But the result is more growth, a stronger ministry, and more authentic community.

Right now, can your leaders tell you which church events/activities their group members are attending? Are the people in their group official members? Have they been thinking about it? Do hey need help? Do they have interests and/or needs the church isn't meeting?

It is easy to focus on the life experience of the members and completely skip church life. Many people are looking for help integrating into the church community in deeper more meaningful ways. These questions can be discussed both in and out of the official meeting time.

Action: Scrap the term Facilitator and start calling them Leaders. Raise the expectations from group facilitators to lay leaders & ministers. If they are only facilitating the group, then it is a bit weak on the ministry side. Perhaps it really is just a discussion/sharing group. It takes leadership genuine caring and relationship to grow and divide cells. Upgrading to the term "leader" also acknowledges the very serious role they play in the life and health and growth of your congregation.

Action: Try this exercise with your minister, program coordinator, coaches -- have them each write a half page on the role they see group Leaders playing in the life of their group members and the larger church community. Try coming to some consensus. Just try. THEN try this with your facilitators.

Lesson 2- The Community of the Cell
In living cells, the Centriole plays a crucial role in the cell division process. Each of the two Centrioles draw half of the Chromosomes to their side of the cell. In our small groups this function falls to the two - count them, TWO - group leaders. Whereas in cells microfibers are used to form connections, in our small groups the connections are the relationships between the group members. It is the relationships OUTSIDE of the nuclear group meeting that are responsible for growing and dividing the nuclear groups. Now, if this function (or role) of the leader happens outside of the nuclear meeting, where does it happen? Everywhere else -- at church, at potlucks, other socials/meetings, and via phone and email. For our groups to grow and divide me must attend to the "Community of the Cell" as it exists within the larger church community.

For your group to be healthy, to grow and to ultimately divide, your cell leader needs to be involved in the life of the church and bring their group with them. Cells do not grow in a vacuum. They need something to grow on or in -- like a petri dish -- full of nutrients. This is the larger church community. It is within the church that the cell exists. This is where newcomers are identified and befriended. This is where the relationships form that make the difference between attending a group and being part of a community. And it is because of this that successful Mega-Churches and most literature on the subject uphold a vision of churches of small groups, not churches with small groups.

Thus, the "Community of the Cell" is the sum of all group and member activities in and outside of your congregation. This may or may not be a strong, coherent community. If group members sit alone on Sundays, never go to church dinners, etc... it may be a pretty sad community in deed! This is where leadership -- not facilitation -- makes a huge difference. The overall intergrity of the community of the cell is very much a result of the efforts of the cell leader. It is then within this community that new members are identified. AND it is within this larger community area that the leaders of your cell and members minister to each other. NOT just in the core session time/nuclear meeting. The group members spend much of their time outside of the this nuclear meeting and in the larger community of the cell. For our UU groups to grow and divide we must look at these cellular communities.

Action: Ask your cell leaders to attend church. Exceptions are fine, but as a rule, they should be there. And what do they do while they are at church or other events? Interact with their cell members and draw new people into the cell loop! Imagine that.

Leader: Hi Marcus! This is Sam. Marcus, Sam is in my group. Did you know that you are both structural engineers with a passion for meditation, sushi, scuba diving and have wives with the same first name?

Sam: Wow!@ I didn't realize that. That is just amazing! We should get together and talk sometime. In fact, how about a double date with our wives and toddlers. I see you have two little children clinging to your legs. Why don't you all come over to our house sometime later this month. I'll tell you about our amazing small group. Here's my card.

Marcus: That would be great! I've been looking for a way to make new friends and exploring my spirituality, but I haven't gotten out of the stay at home with the toddlers mode. In fact, I've been so isolated and have watched so many damn Disney flicks I think I've gone a bit mad. See my finger nails chewed to next to nothing? That's from watching the little mermaid 20 times.

On Teachers: This means your not eligible if you are teaching during the only service and coffee hour. Group leaders need to be involved when and where their members are at church. That is much of the point. Teachers are already leading small groups - their classes. They can be members of adult small groups, but caution against being the leader. Sorry guys! I am presently on a youth group advisor team and find that this is keeping me from caring for my cell group members. I need to choose -- lead the youth group or lead a cell group. Note: The youth group is a big fat multi-cellular organism living in the basement of our Parish house ;-)

On Welcoming: You need to train & encourage your leaders to draw their members around them AND get all of them to reach out to new people. This is analogous to a cell actively drawing resources through its cell wall. You need resources before you grow.

Lesson 3 - Replicating Leadership

There are a number of very important reasons why cell groups need to have multiple leaders AND share the ministry with the group as a whole.

The first is that you NEED two leaders for a cell to divide. Once your Leader has identified a potential leader or leaders, the Leader can start sharing some of the responsibility for drawing the group together, making follow up phone calls, and so on. By doing this you 1) start mentoring a new leader and actually TRAIN ON THE JOB. If your program is structured in a biological way the training all happens within the cell. A leader trains the person who will lead the other daughter cell when the parent cell splits. The minister (and coaches) can work with cell leaders to endorse potential leaders and make sure there is some quality control. Nope! We don't want crappy leaders. Training should be an ongoing thing for all cell leaders during regular meetings. Cells in multi-cellular organisms are constantly in touch - both physically, through nerves and chemicals, and so on.

Sharing of the ministry and leadership also serves take the focus away from any one person and directs energy towards reaching more people.

Action: Develop a culture with your leaders and church at large where everything worth doing is worth doing WITH someone else. Far too many people operate in isolation, run whole programs, etc... From Day 1 of your group meetings make sure the leader has a chosen partner. It doesn't matter if they end up being a leader or not. Every group meeting should model mentoring and shared leadership.

Lesson 4 - Adding Members
It is very important that groups be part of a larger system. In our UU groups this is usually achieved by 1) having the group "facilitator" attend group coaching meetings, 2) using session materials provided by the minister or ministry team, and 3) having responsibility for placing members fall to the minister or a group with program oversight.

A "cellular" way to add people is to draw in those people close to the cell. In our case, the people who are drawn into the community of the cell. This makes the growth natural as the people joining the group have been welcomed into it already. Hard to bitch and moan about splitting a group when you are responsible for making the group so big! All you can do is work to maintain a sense of intimacy within the larger group. How do you do this? Chop!

On Placement: Your staff can still be the ones to officially place people and to okay the addition of new group members. Ideally you will have great coaches mentoring the leaders of your cells. If they are to the leaders what your leaders are to the group members, they will be in touch with leaders and be guiding and affirming the process all along.

On Coaching Ratios: How big should your coaching groups be? If a good small group is anywhere from 6 to 10, a coaching session where individuals are sharing very specific concerns and ministry issues accumulated over a month will HOPEFULLY require more time per person than the average group. This alone would suggest a ratio of one coach to five leaders.

Action: Encourage your leaders and their group members to congregate as a group AND to welcome friends and newcomers into their discussions. This is drawing people into the community of the cell. Let these newcomers VISIT the nuclear meeting. How the group grows and divides will certainly vary, but with two groups worth of people interacting as one cell community SOMETHING is going to happen!

In Cells: In cells it is the successful completion of one stage that drives another. Same is true for cell groups.

Replication of leadership --> sharing of leadership --> quality of ministry, care and outreach --> resulting growth of the community of the cell --> nuclear group opens through interaction with larger cell community--> leaders draw members into two nuclear groups --> a cell wall forms between the two existing nuclear groups --> "Cell-ebration" of cell division.

Lesson 5- Open the Nucleus
How on Earth does one intentionally open a nucleus? Simple. DON'T. It will start to dissolve on its own when, and only when, the group members are attending other church functions (services, etc...) together and doing a good job of reaching out to others. As people are befriended, members will want to share their nuclear meeting. It is all about the community outside the nuclear meeting time. Yes, I am repeating this.

Action: To open up a nuclear meeting so that others may be added and in time form two new groups, focus on the health and growth of the Community of the Cell outside of the nucleus. The state of this community is what triggers the nucleus to open.

Action: Periodically, during your check-out or likes/dislikes period at the end of your session have members reflect on the role of the group in their lives. Then have them think about how many people in the church community & beyond are seeking a similar experience, whether they know it or not.

"Prayer": In other denominations prayer is used in groups to focus attention and energy on those people OUTSIDE of the group who may benefit from being in a group. Prayer to "fill the empty chair" does something crucial -- it opens the group to new people and keeps them looking outside of their own community.

In Cells: In cells, there is a wall around the cell. It protects the cell and is a very good thing. However, it is is semi-permiable. Various kinds of things - things that are needed by the cell - are allowed to enter. It is important to integrate periods where attention is directed outside of the cell into your nuclear meetings and casual conversation while hanging out in the community of the cell. This makes openings in the wall.

Lesson 6- Forming Two Nuclear Groups
The key to forming the two new core groups is the sharing of leadership. FROM THE START of your group make sure that there are two people caring for each group -- a leader and a leader being mentored, a.k.a. an apprentice. Your two leaders need to share follow up calls, pulling people together in coffee hour, inviting people to sit with them during the service, forming a table at potlucks and so on. In cell groups it is the relationships between the two leaders and the group members that drive the formation of two groups or families of people.

Action: Try sitting down with your ministry team and discussing the quality and process of your small group leader mentor program. Whether you are aware of it or not, if you have small groups you do have a mentor program. If you haven't been talking about it, chances are it could use some love. The mentor process needs to be attended to, cared for and celebrated just as much as our popular UU teen-adult mentor programs. ;)

Lesson 7 - Regulating the Cell Cycle
There are a number of stages to cell growth and division. The most important thing to remember is that every stage is triggered by the successful completion of the previous stage. From the start, focus on raising a new leader from within the group. Work on building up the community of the cell outside of the nuclear meeting. Put energy into caring for each and every member of the group -- get to know them, keep in touch, be their guide in the church community.

Action: Without worrying about the timing of each stage, try mapping out a series of steps that groups should focus on. In your coaching sessions share this "life cycle" and discuss where each group is.

Action: Have cell leaders work with their coach to identify where they are in the "life" of their cell. Then set a goal for the next month. This is no different from other kind of planning we do -- setting goals and the resulting praise for completion drives achievement.

On Timing: Don't worry about the duration of any stage. Just focus on success. This is the same as fundraising. If you are meeting the needs of your members you will be more successful in raising funds. AND you also need to ask for the money. Ask for the money -- let your leaders know it is important that their groups grow and divide. This is how this ministry is shared with the larger community.