Small Group Ministry Covenants

Developing a covenant is an important aspect of a healthy small group. Below are some sample covenants. We invite you to share yours with this community. Just email it to us with the name of your congregation. office@smallgroupministry.net

We know that groups are healthier when there is a mutual behavioral covenant -- something that explains how participants will be in relationship with one another. But that only addresses what happens in the general participant groups. What about the small group for your leaders/facilitators? Don't forget to make a covenant between the minister of your church, any coaches you have and the facilitators. This is just as important. How will the minister support the SGM leaders and vice versa? What is the role of goup leaders both in and outside of the group?

COVENANT VISIBILITY

There are various ways of reminding people of the group covenant:

• Read covenant at each meeting
• Place printed copy next to the chalice or candle
• Have it at front of binders each group member has for sessions
• Review covenant after a each new member joins the group
• Review covenant quarterly
• ________________   Share ideas - office@smallgroupministry.net

POLICY VS. GROUP CULTURE

When training facilitators in covenant formation make sure to establish what are aspects of your small group ministry that policy and non-negotiable versus details up for group discussion. For example, you do not want groups to "veto" having a check-in. Other issues often addressed at the policy level include how people are assigned to groups, frequency of service projects, how sessions are created, selected and/or approved, and other issues that determine whether group is part of the larger ministry and life of the congregation.

SAMPLE COVENANTS:

We value our time together as a group and therefore:
commit to attend the meetings
start and stop meetings on time

We value our privacy and therefore:
keep personal information strictly confidential
share ideas outside the group only without attribution

We value each other's contributions to our discussions and therefore:
encourage and allow all to contribute equally
listen to all contributions
try to use only "I" statements
treat each other with respect, caring, and kindness
keep discussion on topic

We value face-to-face decision-making and therefore:
discuss all matters of group process only at meetings
use e-mail only for routine housekeeping matters or informal communications

We value our values and therefore covenant to abide by them.

Submitted by Bill Hurlbut, October 2003

We each have the right to pass
What is shared here, stays here (confidentiality)
We will share time equally
We will be attentive listeners and not interrupt each other
We will not use this group as a therapy session
We will respect diversity and value our differences
We will remain quiet until all have finished their reflection guides
We will value all questions
We will start and end on time
Anyone is free to take a time out from any of the exercises

or

We will listen from the heart.
We will speak personally, using "I" statements.
We will speak honestly from the heart.
We will not engage in cross talk.
We will try not to judge others by what they say.
We will allow space for everyone who wishes to speak.
We will be brief.
We will respect the confidentiality of what is shared here
We will listen from the heart.

or

(Going around the circle, each of us speaks one line)

I will listen with my heart
I will try to speak from my heart.
I have the right to pass.
What is shred here, stays here. I will respect confidentiality.
I will not treat this as group therapy, although our time here may well be therapeutic.
I will not interrupt. I will not give unasked-for advice.
I will share our time together. I will allow space for everyone who wishes to speak.
I will not treat others people's problems lightly.
I will honor the diversity of thought and feeling among us.
I will honor the times for reflection with quietness.
(together)
I will speak from my heart.
I have the right to pass.
I will listen with my heart.

or

We will listen from the heart.
We will speak honestly from the heart.
We will respect the confidentiality of what is shared here.
We will not interrupt.
We will not give unasked-for advice.
We will not judge others by what they say.
We will not treat others people's problems lightly.
We will honor the diversity of thoughts and feelings.
We will honor the times for reflection with quietness.
We will honor and respect our time together.

This is the template we present to facilitators at the beginning, but each groups develops their own covenant, and the implementation team does not have copies of those.  The group covenants are "supposed" to be read at each meeting, but some groups have opted not to do that.  They are evolving documents.  When we have our CG ReMix in the next couple of months, we are going to look more closely at what is meaningful in the covenant and how covenants best serve our groups. 

Submitted by Genevieve Harvey for the Miami Valley Unitarian Fellowship

We, the members of this group, make the following covenant with one another:

1. We will take responsibility for own spiritual development and respect the spiritual journeys of others
2. We will participate in this group for at least six months and attend regularly
3. We will honor each others' boundaries and our own
4. We will listen deeply to one another and give each person equal time
5. We will not disclose confidential information shared by other group members unless we have clear permission.
6. We will regularly invite others to consider joining our group when appropriate, and divide the group when it is time
7. We will serve the community and/or UUCPA as a group regularly
8. We will commit to addressing and resolving conflicts in a respectful way
9. We will encourage others to share their concerns and express their wishes
10. Before leaving the group, we will attend at least three more meetings after informing the group of our decision